1926 High School Graduation Will


Sent by B Don Zesch <bdzesch@att.net>

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:

I am an attorney by profession and make a specialty of drawing a different class of wills. In the past years, so many of the last wills of this school have been broken, the class decided to hire an expert who could draw up such a document in a way that it would remain intact through time and part way through eternity. It will be necessary to levy a special assessment on the graduating class to pay the attorney fee.

The senior class of this school realized that soon it would cease to exist and as it possessed many treasures beyond price that might cause conflict among those who desired to secure them, she took a careful inventory and distributes them as follows, which is her last will and testament.

Listen, one and all, while I read this precious document.

We, the class of 1926, being about to cease our existence as a class, being of sound minds, in fact, having well crammed minds and superhuman understanding, with a memory that was never known to fail, do make and publish this as our last will and testament.

To our highly respected faculty who have imparted to us all the wisdom of the ages, we bequeath a sweet succession of peaceful nights and dreamless sleeps. No longer need they spend the dreary hours of darkness wondering whether their dear wards are pouring over their lessons in geometry, reading the fascinating pages of English literature or tripping the light fantastic to the frightful strains of jazzy music. It is said that children are easy to manage in the first grade, but the difficulty increases as the years go by during the grade they cannot be managed or controlled by an power posed by man. For this reason we make the faculty the residuary legatee of this will so each will have ample reward.

Also in recognition of their watchful care over us we bequeath to our teachers the limitless knowledge and astounding information that we have furnished them at various times in our examination papers. We realize that many things we have imparted were entirely new to them and all the rest of mankind. If this information could be spread to the uttermost parts of the earth it might transform many benighted people so we hereby authorize the faculty to spread this information wherever and whenever it will accomplish the greatest good to the greatest number.

To our beloved superintendent we bequeath our deepest reverence, our sincere affections and our heartiest gratitude. During the years we have spent in this school he has taken the keenest interest in our welfare as individuals and as a class so as a partial payment of the debt of gratitude we owe him we give him a first mortgage on the glittering reputations and stupendous achievements which the great mysterious future has in store for us. May he watch with satisfaction every step of our journey, each victory, each success and honor that we may win, but may his eyes be turned the other way when we make failures or fall from the high standards he has set for us.

To the Juniors we bequeath our senior dignity and ask that it may be upheld with all seriousness and gravity in spite of their light mindedness and irresponsibility. Also our places in class room and chapel. May they fill them as promptly and as faithfully as we have done. If inadvertently we leave any erasers, pencils or other scholastic equipment we give to whomsoever can get them in the mad scramble of the vociferous under-classmen. In some mysterious way these articles which we have used may impart to them some of the great wisdom we have absorbed in this institution of learning.

To our successors we leave our places in the affections of our principal and teachers. They will love them even as they have loved us and will show them all the tender kindness and attention they have shown to us. The advancing class will appreciate this ever as we have and at the close of next year will call down benedictions on those who have worked so hard to develop their young minds and start them aright on the great highway of life.

To various individuals we make these important and generous Personal gifts, trusting they may be duly appreciated:

To Henry Rhode we bequeath Jack Jarret's ability to lead the school singing.

To Jeff Kidd we give Elmer Wiedemans power to please the girls.

To Virgil Banks we bequeath Rolands Grote's chance to become President of the U. S.

To Mildred Montgomery is left Anna Ingrim's luck in getting high grades.

To Nettie Schmidt we bequeath Ned Webster's desire to become an old maid.

To Smith Lewis is given Clayton Schmidt's trick of looking innocent when caught in mischief.

To Betty Barnhardt we leave Dena Hering's fondness for the boys.

To Mary Capps is left Clayton Schmidt's skill as an artist.

Olga Fay Wood bequeaths her leadership as pep leader to Nettie Echert.

Ruby Pluenneke leaves her privelege of stopping by the tailor shop to Ruby Grote, but understand there will be a new tailor.

Eunice Green bequeaths the presidency of the Girls Athletics Asso. to Lucille Rody

Erna Witt leaves to Modell Henrich her coquettish manners.

Anna Marie Koock bequeaths her charming personaltiy to Vita King.

Lela Strackbein leaves to Benellen Land her desire to be a good house keeper.

Frederick Gipson leaves his ability to play thye guitar to Bevil George.

Garner Sequist bequeaths the privilege of staging a fight in Senior English of '26 - '27 to Ernest Lemburg.

Estella Zesch bequeaths to her ability to learn Trig., but advises her to "Never give up the ship."